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  • Writer's pictureAisling Salisbury

I Ain't Gonna Be No "Poster-Girl" After This

Updated: Feb 16, 2021

Do you know those times in life where you surprise someone? The classic, don’t judge a book by its cover scenario. Well, that happened the other day and it’s got me thinking that it’s time.

First things first. This is going to be a contentious piece but if you have read some of my previous stuff then you know that I’m a moderate and have discussed issues that would be considered as going against the grain of the Trans community. Prior to passing any judgement or making a comment, I would like to remind you to always show respect. We all have our viewpoints and it's about accepting that we all have an opinion and differing opinions is a good thing to have. It should never be about name-calling and cancellation but understanding all sides of a logical argument on a serious topic and not having a one-track mind.

Back, to the topic at hand. As you may know, I am a woman but wasn't always one. That's right I transitioned so the fact that I transitioned you would think would make me an automatic member of the Trans Lobby and its thinktank. But as Groucho Marx said:

“I wouldn’t want to want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.”

Anyway, this all started when I made a comment on someone’s post that, well, was supposed to be a “pro-Trans” thing and they were questioning how this helps? Simply my reply to her story was “I’m a transwoman and this even makes me sick”.

The response I received was “wait I’m glad you follow me, but why?” Simply put, this person posts things that would no doubt offend the Twitter-verse and so-called advocates for the Trans community. Therefore I would’ve thought that this person thought I was a troll that was building a case to go nuclear on her. Instead, she was shocked that I actually share some of her views. But more importantly, she had responded to some of my messages previously and until I had even said that I was someone who had transitioned she probably just assumed I was some random chick. Now isn’t that what we as Trans folk have always strived for? To be recognised as the gender we have always known we were?

Now yes it’s a little bit difficult to judge someone on social media. It comes down to is a photo and a social media handle. However, personally, that recognition of being the gender we have always identified with is surely what the pro-Trans arguments should always have been about. So why are we seeing things like this? Such as the sexualisation of children, Drag Queen storytime, the destruction of gender, biology and more importantly the labelling people? These things are damaging and suggests we are now more focused on feelings over common sense and natural development.

Let's go straight to the point of this. I am not precisely the "Poster-Girl" for the Trans lobby and nor would I want to be. The Trans Lobby now in my view is less about sharing the struggles and improving life for Trans people but is now more about enforcing a one-track mindset that everyone must believe in and follow to the letter to the law. This isn't a lobby anymore, behaviour like this is cult-like. If you don't follow the letter to the law you are . . . well cancelled.

We have seen this with Caitlyn Jenner, initially a hero for the Trans Lobby. But attacked for merely stating, that although she doesn't support Trump on LGBTQI issues she supported many other things that he has done as President. Also, she applauded Eddie Redmayne's performance in 'The Danish Girl' but was told not to publicly say that as the role should have been played by a trans person. The instant cancellation of Caitlyn Jenner is quite disgusting. Currently, in the US Tulsi Gabbard is being attacked for wanting to protect women in the sporting arena. In Australia, Tasmanian Senator Claire Chandler is also trying to table the same thing. The trash I am seeing here for both is utterly vile. As I say the Trans Lobby has become Cult-like and it's doing far more damage to trans folk than improving their lives.

I am no expert and I don't pretend to understand why I am Trans. There was a study published in 2018 that would suggest that it is actually perhaps a genetic issue. Stating that the brain of trans people has actually shown similar traits, especially during development, of the gender, they identify with. I think that it's entirely possible that this could be promising. I do believe that you know you are Trans from a very young age. I indeed knew at the age of four. I don't know why, it's one of those things that is hard to explain.

So what really grinds my gears with the Trans Lobby? Well, there are a few things.

Drag Queen Storytime

So if you believe kids know at a young age they are trans, wouldn't seeing a Drag Queen help? Why are you against that? The reason is, we should just let kids be kids. We know that kids can be vicious too, in that if they smell something different they can be relentless bullies. But we have gone from simply teaching kids a simple lesson of "treat others the way you would want to be treated" to an almost brainwashing style of the education system when it comes to this. Things like Drag Queen story time would probably be a good thing if it wasn't for the fact that Drag Queens are a traditional form of Adult Entertainment. Why is this coming into the Classroom? It's sick. Now if there is a kid in the class that thinks they might be Trans and are in denial about it, then yeah, seeing a guy in a dress might help. Because they would think "hey when I grow up I could do something like that to be a girl" but many of the storytimes I have seen is more like actually seeing a drag show over someone in drag just simply reading a children's book. If it were more the latter then it would be no different to seeing a performer. Instead, this is the sexualisation of children when they should just be kids.

It's not PC to talk about Gender Anymore

The destruction of gender roles is disastrous and if anything goes against everything that Trans people strive for. I mean if there was no gender then why would I have spent a whole heap of my youth and life striving to be the woman I now call myself today? The whole reason there is Trans folk is that they don't identify with the role they are supposed to portray is it not? I mean guys and girls wouldn't spend heaps of money, give up massive parts of their life to improve themselves for the better to meet the appearance and norms of the other Gender. It flys in the face of everything.

Cancelling Biological Sex

End of story folks. There are men and there are women. Now I call myself a woman and a female. If I'm presented with a form then I tick that box. However, I know that biologically I will never be one. It breaks my heart too. I would love to have children and be a mother but it won't happen. Yet I accept that. Part of being trans is accepting certain things. But the trans lobby now seems to want to go:

“Oh wait you can’t say this person isn’t biologically a woman and because of that it’s offensive! So, therefore, they’re a . . . and that’s more acceptable language.”

This is overthinking and actually highlights parts of Trans people's lives that could very likely cause pain to them by reminding them and sharing with the rest of the world that they aren't who they really are. Like myself, I just want to live a normal life and to do things like this is actually causing more damage than good. The biology argument is most stringent when it comes to trans athletes. I have previously posted on this (Women's Sports Are For Women, Sorry) and it was my "How dare you! You traitor moment"

Now that last one is a good play on my name, so I'll let that one slide. Kudos. But this is the fact people. When it comes down to Trans athletes competing in sport then it's not genitalia but biology that is the problem. Now yes, hormone treatments do reduce muscle mass for male-to-females, however, they don't change the bone structure and bodily development that occurred in puberty. Why do you think there is no question about women who transition into men playing in a men's competition? Because of biology! Female-to-males still have a smaller framework and thus the threat of being hurt or at a disadvantage is with the participant themselves here. But for male-to-female athletes, it's the participants against them who are at risk and a disadvantage. When you are trans you need to accept that there are some things in your life you will have to give up or find another avenue. This includes sports! For those who have transitioned during puberty then yes, you, without a doubt have a chance at competing in your Gender's sporting event because the hormone treatments changed your puberty and thus you could easily meet not just the hormone levels of a genetic member of that gender but your body developed as they would have. However, for the late bloomers, so to speak, consider umpiring.

Labelling and Pronouns

Labelling is the biggest problem right now and it has to stop. Now if anyone reads my online social media bios you will see there is nothing that says "I'm a transwoman" because it's not what I want to be defined by. It's a minor part of my life and just a simple word to perhaps tell a guy hitting on me that "hey just to let you know" or even here online to simply explain who I am without a life story. However, we are now seeing a changeover. It's labels that we are now using to define us and others. Didn't we fight wars against this sort of thing? Singling out others because of what they are? The reason why I think we are seeing an increase in this sort of thing is that as a society we now seem so fragile with emotions that we simply can't even put a face on? I remember all through my life when it came to that "Sex?" question I would hate ticking "Male" because I knew deep down I was putting on a facade, however, I knew what the question was about. Now that I present and live my life full-time as a woman, well I tick the "Female" column because that's what I live as. But now it's about how we feel or identify as? It's feelings over common-sense. A question like that on a form is not an attack or wanting to know your life story. If you simply want to improve things for the better, then how about we just eliminate that question all together instead of having an entire encyclopedia of options.

It's now also come to telling people how to address you. What is wrong with a quiet word, later on to that person? Why is it now part of people's bios or email signatures? Especially if that person is biologically that gender and identifies with it? That's not showing respect, that's taking the piss. Once again it comes down to appearance and having a thick skin. If you identify as male and are called "miss" then just think about it. Will you see this person again? If so then maybe a quiet word with them. If you won't see this person again, well then stuff them.

What may have gone wrong?

Alright, why do I think this has occurred? That the Trans lobby has got so convoluted and messy. Well, I believe it's because of two reasons:

  1. To transition is incredibly hard on a multitude of levels. Financial and social support networks are the two main ones;

  2. Transitioning for those that can make those steps means big business to medicine and pharmaceutical companies.

Under point one transitioning is out of reach for a lot of people. Because of this those that can't transition feel trapped and it leads to a massive amount of depression and mental health problems. By doing many of the above it appears to "fix" the problem when really all it's doing is nothing more than being a quick-fix solution. Well, newsflash! It's not going to work. Going down this path and been all up in people's faces about enforcing this will actually cause resentment. The more you are up in people's faces about these things and telling them that they just have to accept it otherwise they are either:

a) a bigot;

b) some form of phobic;

c) a right-wing nut job;

d) Most of the time all of the above.

If you go down that path of talking down to people and calling them things that they aren't for simply wanting to ask a question or even say "hey this is a bit much now" it just generates hatred. It can categorise all Trans folk, who just want to live their lives normally in a group that many are/will start to resent.

So why doesn't the Trans Lobby fight for affordable healthcare for trans folk? Well, transgendered medicine is a massive business for pharmaceuticals and health care. They are also the so-called gatekeepers, they could simply turn the tap off if they wanted to and prevent treatments etc. so it's too hard to fight against that without possibly alienating our golden ticket.

The End Goal

End of the day, the Trans Lobby has lost sight of one thing and that is to teach people that everyone is different and that's ok. You don't have to agree with it, just understand that some people are like this and it's no skin off your nose. I get a feeling people are already like this now. They may make some off-the-cuff remark behind your back but things like this are simply because people are curious. But ultimately it comes back to a religious saying:

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"

This is the lesson that should be applied, end of the story, regardless of how someone wants to live their lives. If it doesn't affect you then why should it bother you, however, the Trans Lobby now is trying to affect everyone's lives and that is, as I say, the danger in causing resentment over acceptance.

As for children and the increases in Transgendered care?

I actually am concerned about this. I have stated that I knew at a young age and many Transgender folks do that they are probably trans. Now in my 30s, I look back with regret that I didn't start transitioning sooner. Yes transitioning at a younger age makes a lot of social adjustments a lot easier, however, it's a massive medical decision that has lasting consequences. Treatments now have gone from simply allowing children who are at the highest risk of self-harm or mutilation get treatment early to what is now almost appearing to be an open door. With the blurring of gender lines in education and the overt indoctrination of children as opposed to letting them grow and develop naturally does not help the situation. The last thing we need is multiple children who are confused. In my view people who are really trans understand the differences in gender/sex more than anyone, especially male’s who transition. When it goes the other way I think it’s more confusing because the male culture is pushed on women far greater now. How many girls who were Tomboys did you go to school with who are now all grown up and are wives and mothers.? They grew out of it. Does this still happen? How about this crazy thought? Let kids be kids. We once had a time where it was teaching kids "if you are different then that’s ok" TO "you have to go with it, explore and embrace it" which sounds good in principle but with the wrong support then it's the wrong path to go down. It goes back to, as I say, the brainwashing phase. Because a young girl who is a "Tomboy" she is now constantly told that she is either probably gay or really a boy and should embrace that. It puts pressure on her to conform to an expectation placed on them instead of finding themselves. Letting kids just be kids is the perfect way to let them discover themselves first. For a developing mind, an expectation and blurring of the lines will result in confusion and that's a bad thing. It goes against the end goal of ultimate acceptance that we are different and just accept that we aren't all the same and it's ok. There was a video that was posted recently where a mother put a microphone in front of her son who looked about three-four and was telling him to tell everyone to which she then takes the microphone and says "he is really shy but he just wants to tell you all that he identifies as a girl now", the keyword there should be "now" the child is far too young and . . . wait a minute? Why would you even record that? This is where parenting comes into place. If this child legitimately is identifying or telling his parents he wants to wear dresses or play with Barbies, well that's fine. But don't do something like that. If anything find a middle ground and let your child do that at home and keep it as the household secret initially. If the child is truly trans I guarantee you will see not just an improvement of their lives instantly but they will excel over the years to the point that you can clearly see that they are legitimately trans and not just curious. But to do what that mother just did is blurring the lines and we can't have that.

I Want It Now

The other thing too about transitioning and trans issues right now are that the generations coming up simply want it "Now!" it's about the short-term and not the future. When moving forward with deciding to transition is about being absolutely certain that it's not just what you want but you also need to be in the right frame of mine. Simply transitioning might not be your cure. Growing up my viewpoint on feeling like a girl was that it was just a phase that I would grow out of. So it is great that there are early interventions now, but as I say it's now more about a "risk" that a diagnosis will be right in the long term and that it isn't a phase. With the blurring of lines for children, the confusion will reign and increases the risks of misdiagnoses.

Moving Forward

So Trans Lobby it's time to back off you may think you are doing well but you are doing more damage in the long run. If you continue down this path it will do irreparable damage to the trans community in the grand scheme of things. It will result in rules and laws that will discredit and make life harder for us who just want to live a normal life and not make waves. The fight you should be fighting and support you should be focused on is to primarily provide comfort for those that have been abandoned by their family and friends or even unfairly dismissed from employment. Not pushing pronouns, categories of people and denial of biology whilst name-calling people with either questions or who don't conform to your worldview. If you don't change course then you risk typecasting all of us in a category that is causing more resentment towards the Trans community than acceptance.


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